Gay Toast

Opportunity Costs

2010-12-07T10:22:00.000-08:00

I just got out of a job interview for a 8-week position through a staffing agency that pays $10 an hour (low for the skill level they wanted) but would possibly give me more design experience. In my pocket, I had a voicemail waiting from another staffing agency about a $14 an hour, 6-month position that would have me working in Marketing Communications, specifically social media, with a "large, well-known nonprofit." Neither offers any benefits or promises of extensions. I'm still waiting to hear back from the actual jobs that I applied directly to, full time permanent positions with benefits and salaries. I'm about to lose my fucking mind with all these choices, except none of them are actual offers yet. The only definite thing I have going on is the catering work I have scheduled for the month, which will pay my rent and bills. Do I say F it to these temporary positions? Do I accept the first position that offers, then quit if another one offers? Do I focus on the permanent positions? Do I start drinking now, or should I just overeat? Actually, I think I'm going to call a psychiatrist and make an appointment because I am legit having anxiety and ~~drugs~~ medicine are the best solution probably. Until I get addicted to them. I keep flashing back to my Into to Business class from sophomore year of high school, or maybe it was my Econ 101 class at the Florida College I went to, discussions of opportunity costs and making the best decision. I wish I could make ANY decision right now.

Updates From the Edge

2010-12-06T15:12:00.000-08:00

my tumblr is down, I have so many feelings I want to share with the world, but of course as soon as I open this dialog box my mind goes blank. I guess I'm still unemployed, single, drink too much and move aimlessly through life, so NOT MUCH HAS CHANGED. Oh, except now my mom is getting divorced, living in a bedroom with my sister at my aunt's house in Naperville, and my brother is married. Looks like everyone has made a bit of progress, right? I mean, I do have a second degree in graphic design now, and I'm on the V-E-R-G-E of getting a job (meaning maybe in the next 6 months, don't you know this is the great recession of 2010 and almost 2011 now?) and I guess I'm okay with not being great at anything. Acceptance is beautiful, isn't it? Maybe I'll get back into this blog, it's a great place to open up now that I know IRL most of the local people who read my tumblr. What ever happened to privacy for posting things on the internet, huh?

Ha.HA.

2008-12-09T21:46:00.001-08:00

I am drunk again, haha. but there's no laughing, I feel bad because I told my roommate i couldn't see a movie with her cuz i had to study, but the real reason was i wanted to drink. plus i kinda hate my roommate and her innate ability to make everything resolutely about her, even the movie she invited me to. i mean she had to see it for one of her classes (stupid arty chicago school). anyway i hate her. in that non-volatile, neighbor-with-a-cute-but-yappy-dog way. WHATEVER the underlying problem was that i don't even have six dollars to spend on a crappy reese witherspoon movie. yeah, six dollars. 6. dollars. i'm so broke. call me?

Ridiculous

2008-12-06T00:46:00.001-08:00

This blog is ridiculous, I never write. If anyone is reading this, you are ridiculous too. I'm so angry right now, angry in the quiet, shocked kind of way. I guess it's the type of angry my parents always were when they said they were disappointed in me. It is about my friend, one friend who I had considered a best, but I guess I was letting him get by on his legacy status too much. I can't remember the last time we really had fun without forcing it, the last time I needed to share something with him. Maybe I can, but it was probably because there was no other peer so similar to me, no other gay guys I would have really considered sharing anything with. I'm just so upset that he could just decide that he doesn't need me before I could decide I don't need him.

Breaking up with your friends is the worst.

Reality

2008-09-14T10:12:00.000-07:00

I have got to stop pretending that I can go to sleep at 3:30am and get up at 8am the next day. Especially if I've had a bottle of wine right before I go to bed. I have one of those selective memories and one idea I've preserved (with no solid examples or anecdotes to support it) is that I could, in fact, go to sleep at 3:30am and get up at 8am when I was a freshman in college. I think the C from my 8:30am anthropology class that year wants to say otherwise. Anyway, it's past noon and I'm just getting started on the stuff I'd planned to do between 9am and 11:30am.

Exhausted With It All

2008-09-04T22:58:00.000-07:00

I just want someone to say something that will make it all matter, make any of it matter. Why can't I stop drifting between anxiety-ridden to under the influence to profoundly lost and alone? The slivers of happiness I find in this bedrock of confusion and denial sometimes make it worthwhile, but they are always gone before I can even begin to figure out why they've come.

More Alcohol!

2008-07-28T20:12:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've felt as near-panicked and worthless as I did this morning. There wasn't really a reason, other than the fact that I drank away the weekend I had intended to be productive during. And I didn't just drink it away in the normal way, beers at the bar and a hangover until 1pm. No, in addition to that, this weekend was all about drinking in the middle of the afternoon alone to incapacitate myself, so I didn't have to draw a still life. Yes, I do that, drink to avoid doing things that are not entirely difficult but still fill me with that familiar dread. The fear of failure, most likely. I mean, I've already resolved to start that still life tonight, but I've also eaten my little dish of vodka-soaked watermelons and sucked down the leftover liquor with a straw while I finished a book. And I completely plan to open a bottle of wine while I pull out the fancy paper and arrange my pencils besides me on the bed. So it will be lucky if the drawing resembles anything on the table I'm supposed to be drawing and not a pile of intestines.

Did I mention I started design school? It's my fun (terrifying) new way to put off needing a job. I guess the worst case scenario is that I fail Drawing 1; what's so fucking terrible about that? Ugh, I just can't shake this feeling. Am I really turning into one of those people who get panic attacks? What have I done to myself?

Waving From a Distance

2008-06-30T13:50:00.000-07:00

This past weekend was the Gay Pride Parade in Chicago. I was in it, hanging on the side of the National Organization of Women's float. I didn't take off my shirt or grind to the booming techno coming from the float behind us, apparently the vehicle for a gay swim team? I base this on the fact that they were all bare-chested and in skimpy shorts, but that describes about half of the parade participants anyway.
I was terribly hungover and expecting a bad or at least awkward time, but it was great. All I did was wave at people, picking a face in the crowd to focus on every couple feet, and everyone responded. Usually flirtatiously, which felt really fucking great. It was weird getting back down on the ground with the crowd when our float was done. I couldn't indiscriminately flirt anymore, the confidence was gone. It is different when you have to follow a wave with a conversation, the reality sets in that maybe I don't have anything to say to them. They've got nothing for me either, and back on the ground I see the complications you can ignore from above. Obviously I am still the same cynical and single person I was before the weekend began, but when it gets bad I will try to remember how the possibilities seemed to sparkle, when I was waving from a distance.

Stalled Relationship, Vague Texts

2008-05-29T20:27:00.000-07:00

Most people can agree that dating is a difficult thing. Somehow, people still end up with each other and have things called "relationships." What these relationships entail is spending time together, you and your significant other, doing thing that you mutually enjoy. And there's sex too, usually. Sometimes that falls into the "mutually enjoyable activity" column. Haha joke! I'm breaking this down to such elementary terms because I'm emotionally stunted and I just can't seem to get it right. I guess I can take solace in the fact that this time around it doesn't really seem to be my fault that this relationship isn't working. His name is... well I probably shouldn't share that online. Anyway, I moved closer to him in Logan Square (ew not to be with him, that's pathetic, it's just the best apartment me and the new roomie looked at) and I thought we would hang out more because I'm just five minutes away and, being totally unemployed, I have a very open and flexible schedule. Well that didn't happen. We still make vague plans, "call me when you get off work" and "I'm too tired tonight, what are you doing tomorrow?" but it's not really going anywhere, it usually falls apart before we actually hang out, and I've probably been involved with him for two months now. I'm not really broken up about it, it's just that he was so great, IS so great, I thought that this would be the time that my adventures in dating actually made the transition to a real "relationship." Sigh. Plus he's planning on moving to Micronesia at the end of the summer to take over his father's hardware store. No joke. I guess it's back to drinking alone and reading the internet. Like the party I am throwing alone in my room right now with a 24oz SPARKS plus, with the extra alcohol by volume!

Shit

2008-05-26T02:20:00.000-07:00

Man what the fuck? It's almost fucking June, I graduated like, three fucking weeks ago and I am still a lazy fucking bum without a goddamn job. I'm not upset, why would you think that? I am just worried about the impending announcement from my money-provider and mother about how I burn through money without even thinking. Hey, is it my fucking fault that food costs money? And real Parmesean Cheese costs fucking more? WTF. Seriously, I'm fine. I had a job interview the other day. But I haven't heard from them in a week. And that's the only job I've interviewed at. Look, fuck this ok? I am so tired ot the real world, why would anyone ever want this shitty existence for themself? ok, i'm gonna try and reel in the pessimism. The weather is great lately! I can still afford copious amounts of alcohol! I am enjoying the free time while I have it! I will be hired soon, don't you know that I am a National Merit Scholar finalist? I would find a link for that shit but, I'm not really caring at the moment. Thanks, talk to you soon!

Life's falling together

2008-04-21T22:47:00.000-07:00

The weather today was fantastic. I wish I was outside right now. I looked at the apartment that will soon be mine today, it's over in Logan Square. Well, the east side of Logan Square, according to the Apartment People's map. I have no idea what is over there, restaurants, bars, stores, who knows. I'm sure I'll figure it out soon enough. Anyway, there was some confusion about which unit is supposed to be ours, so I'm hoping we get that worked out soon so I can sign the lease. I'm excited to move, really. Things are going really well in the "dating" department, too, so all I need now is a job and I'll feel like a full-fledged adult. That's what you're supposed to be after you graduate college, right?

30 days, then 30 years

2008-04-09T22:44:00.000-07:00

In exactly one month I will officially be a college graduate. Isn't that great? It's hard to be excited when I don't have a job lined up in what the Wall Street Journal is calling "the rockiest job market in recent years." But honestly I'm not THAT worried. Stuff always works out for me. I'm more concerned about where I'm going to live when my lease is up on May 31st. I am like 90% sure about who I will be living with, but we have yet to figure out which neighborhood will work best for us. Somewhere close to the train is all I really require. And close to some restaurants. I figure I'll be working in the Loop so any train can take me there. The restaurants are so I can take guys on dates there and then we can casually end up back at my apartment where I'll slip in a DVD which we won't watch as we make out for hours with the music from the DVD menu playing in the background.

Anyway, back to the job issue. I will probably just start temping again, hopefully I won't get fired from an assignment this time around. I'll be working weekends at the restaurant too, bussing tables. I'm just too lazy to actually start serving. But maybe I should and try to make that a full-time gig, at least for the summer. Reality: that's not going to happen. I have this small dream that I will be able to become a free-lance graphic designer in my spare time. I am even getting the full Adobe design suite free from some kid in my class who overheard me asking about how much it costs. I mean, he downloaded it illegally but whatever. That's my dream this week: graphic design!

Tables Turned, Priorities Scorned

2008-03-30T14:09:00.000-07:00

It may be the greatest miracle of all time! I am interested in a guy who is also into me. I may be too quick to speak (to post) because there has been only one date, but I like to think I have a certain sense about things like this. And what am I basing this "sense" on? Nothing, nothing at all. I have no experience with things like this working out well. But today it feels good and I'm going to preserve that for the millions of netizens who read this blog. Or, you know, the three netizens.

After the rather depressing post preceding this one, it is nice to be able to honestly say that I am happy right now. The feeling may self-destruct before the end of the day but it EXISTS. A person commented on my last (depressing) post in response to my query about the location of the happiness-depository (so I could pick some up) with this statement:

"I think you have to pretend you don't wanna be happy..or something.. then you are showered with happy.. it's stupid. (-Yeti)

And it's so fucking true. I hadn't even read the comment until today, when I went to post about my happiness, and I realized that it did come when I had all but given up on it ever being like this. But, happiness in a relationship (listen to me, talking as if I know what it is like to be in a relationship) sometimes comes at the expense of other things that were previously the source of your happiness. Like a particularly close friendship or a burgeoning hobby or a quest to expand your horizons. Or maybe not, maybe I just don't know what it means to be part of a "couple," me and another person being a package. Do you change yourself for them? Do they change you? Is that supposed to happen? Isn't that what everyone aims for, to finally be part of someone else's life and decisions? Is the sum greater than the parts?

2008-03-11T22:49:00.000-07:00

I am so so so pissed off right now and I can't figure out why. Everything that seems to have set me off has happened before without incident and even all together they are sort of "whatever."

SO, first of all I'm out with my male roommate (gay) and his best friend, my other (female) roommate at some lame Lincoln Park bar (they go to DePaul, they probably can't help it). So, gay roommate is talking about just how much sex he has with his boyfriend. So much! They even broke his bed! That sort of made me a little uncomfortable cuz I ain't gettin any lately. I guess that means I am jealous. Anyway girl roommate is being super boring, it's her 21st birthday and she says "no shots" and is slowly sipping her long island iced tea and I'm all, "I'm outta here"

BECAUSE my friend Josh from when I went to school in Florida is in town! Can't wait to see him! He's one of my favorite people. I ditch the Lincoln Park thing and head to Clarke's to eat with them. But the bus never comes and I'm super pissed and I say fuck it and walk all the way to the 151 by Belmont. Then I realize i'm sad over Josh, who has a boyfriend. why is everyone happy with other people? It's not really like I want them for myself but GODDAMN if i don't want a piece of the happy.

Where's it at, people? I WANT SOME

Silent with snow

2008-02-25T22:52:00.000-08:00

Man, the snow is really pretty tonight. I was getting really pissed off at all the cold temperature lately and about to swear off winter but this snow changed my mind. It started out as some of those quarter-sized flakes that make the world feel like a snow globe while I was on campus earlier today. It was so awesome, just staring up at the sky, my favorite song playing on my iPod, the entire world out of my view except for the thick but softly-falling snow.

Now, I just left the downtown campus after working on a paper all night (and playing around with my new blog www.settingitaside.tumblr.com) and I hadn't realized how much snow had fallen because I was nowhere near the window. When I finally looked up at the Water Tower I saw the snow layered on the tree branches near the tower. It was straight out of a photography book or something. (just realizing I live in a picturesque city)

I watched the snow fall on Michigan Ave. for a while waiting for the bus, but nothing compared to when I was walking back to my apartment, further on the North Side. The sidewalks full of unshovled snow and the trees lining the streets each forming into their own unique heavily iced decorations, I was engulfed into a completely different world.

Seriously, it just changed my whole perspective. Brought back that wonder with the natural world that so often disappears in city residents. Fucking awesome.

Tpyos are going to riun me froevre

2008-02-18T21:36:00.000-08:00

Man I fucking hate typos. If my web browser didn't have some program that underlines all the words I misspell when I write e-mails or online comments or even this blog, you would all think I spell at a 5th grade level. I mean I might still. Who knows.

Anyway, I forgot how great of a device this is for procrastination! I have a 50-question multi-choice test tomorrow morning in marketing, a class where I have taken a half-page of notes in 5 weeks and have never opened the book. Only fifteen minutes until midnight! 0 chapters down, 6 to go.

This picture is from the library, staring out at the dorms across the street. Look how cool I am with a macbook and maroon shoelaces. I was procrastinating then too.

Out of Town

2008-02-03T18:32:00.000-08:00

The Scene: Kansas City International (really? international?) Airport, 7:20pm

M is just realizing that after a random-sobbing-attack filled weekend with his family, his 7:30pm flight back to Chicago is going to be delayed for a while.

It starts out with just a weather advisory, a 10 minute delay. Then, via text from Chicago friends, M realizes that weather situation is severe. Weather.com has 70% precipitation for Chicago until 12am.

M checks with airline associates; the flight is now delayed until 8:15pm. Not too bad. M buys two cans of beer from the Wolfgang Puck Kiosk (why is this kiosk affiliated with Wolfgang Puck?). Starts to chug one. Coordinates a pick-up effort in Chicago based on the quickly spreading delay. He's not going to deal with the CTA after 11pm on a Sunday night after a weekend like this, who would?

Delay has been extended to 9pm. The Chicago team is on standby, armed with the flight number and the airline website. What can only be another delay announcement is muffled by the sounds of the Shiny Toy Guns Channel on pandora and simultaneously ignored by M who is working his way through the second beer quickly. It's already 9pm, obviously the flight is not leaving until 10:30pm at the earliest.

The looming question: what time do kiosks in the admittedly hick state of Kansas stop serving beer on a Sunday night?

How to Blog

2008-01-20T20:10:00.001-08:00

How do you blog? Should I think about and edit what I write, or should I just write? If I go the first route, I'm too lazy to actually follow through with any ideas. The second route, well, this is it.

I talk to myself a lot

2007-10-22T15:47:00.000-07:00

I was walking home from the train the other day and I was thinking about something, I think it was my Old Testament teacher, and I realized I was moving my lips. I then realized I probably looked as crazy as the randomly-shouting street people who hang out near the methadone clinic near my house. It wasn't really a big revelation, but sort of sad that the "crazy" is starting to get out of control. Maybe it's because I don't talk to any people for days at a time and I just HAVE to talk. Who knows.

Is time even moving?

2007-09-19T16:22:00.000-07:00

Well, it's halfway through the week, a good solid hump-day, and I'm bored out of my mind. Not because there's nothing to do; exactly the opposite, really. I'm supposed to be researching junk mail for an advertising project (my senior thesis, or "capstone project" in Loyola-speak) but I told myself that I was going to do that after I go to the gym, but I'm putting that off too, just because it's kinda far away. Not that far, only a 10 minute bike ride, but it just feels early to be starting the chain of events that will end with me doing the research. If there was ever a better reason to pointlessly post a blog, I never heard it. Oh, there's also tons of stuff I should be doing for the clubs I'm in, PRSSA and IABC, since I decided it was a good idea to have an executive board position in not one, but TWO student organizations my senior year. Who am I trying to impress? Oh yeah, graduate schools and prospective employers. Regarding employers and this blog, I'm always half-worried that something I write will bite me in the ass, but I'm also half-hoping that someone will read this blog and offer me a job writing for gawker.com or something. I have journalistic cred! I'm taking Reporting and Writing this semester, sees ah canz write storees.

Actually, I really just wrote all this because I took this really cool, semi-anonymous picture this weekend and I thought it would be perfect for my blog. Also Hannah Montana was a repeat (well aren't they all) and so was Ned's Declassified Survival Guide, Law & Order, True Hollywood Stories: ANTM and after that I just stopped channel surfing, it was making me sad.

Fine, I guess i'll go! Unless there are some new blog posts that I've missed..... I'm gonna go check that out.

Don't you find abandoned senses attractive?

2007-09-17T22:19:00.000-07:00

Chicago is such a bustling place, it always amazes me when I find another really unique part of town. I was driving around Bucktown the other day, looking for a maternity shop called Belly Dance, but me and my friend got lost and ended up in Ukranian Village. It's a super hipster part of town, and it gave me a really different look at Chicago than the one I get at Loyola's Mag Mile campus and my Uptown home. It's just another reinforcement, telling me I made the right decision to move here. I can't wait until I have a real job and can look at apartments in all parts of town! Not just the cheap ghetto where I can afford to live.

Another story: I chugged three beers when I got home from picking up the supplies for my latest promotion because I was so pissed off at the manager. The dude who I was picking the stuff up from, the manager, took an HOUR AND A HALF to give me a t-shirt, hardhat and box of tissue samples. Seriously, I have shit to do! So I took the edge off with the beers, then I packed up my books and went to class. Needless to say, my notes are not very coherent (or existent, actually) from the first hour of class. Hey, college is almost over and I'm not going to be able to do this at a job, so I thought I'd take advantage of the anonymity of night class. Hell yeah.

My other Site

2007-09-06T10:17:00.000-07:00

I accidentally typed in www.gaytoast.blogpsot.com.... see the blogspot part is spelled wrong.... and it took me to some bible site. I thought it was funny.

TIES

2007-08-21T21:40:00.000-07:00

I officially have a tie fetish lately. I know I said I couldn't afford second-hand clothes, but I realized that Yellow Jacket is just way over-priced. So what I really liked there were the ties, and now I have bought about 15 new ties from Goodwill (in Kansas on a family visit), a random antiques store and Chicago's Village Discount Outlet. I love them all. Too bad I don't have a job where I have to wear ties. See, that would make it a normal purchasing spree. This lack of practicality makes it a full-on fetish. Anyhow, I love them.

Secondhand Change

2007-08-08T18:16:00.000-07:00

Hey I was out walking around Chicago the other day, under the guise of "working" for the magazine I intern at, and I found a really cool vintage store called Yellow Jacket. But, at the same time, I realized I was too poor at that point in time to even afford second-hand clothes. Sad, right? But, I guess it's something that happens in college. I'd rather it happen now than when I'm 23, out of school and don't have the possibility of new employment right around the corner. That's what I've been telling myself lately, that a great job is just around the corner (i.e. after graduation) and I will be making BUNDLE$. Hmm we'll see how that goes.

A month later...

2007-07-17T22:34:00.000-07:00

Jeez it's been a month since I was fired and I sort of have a new job? I've been doing the "gigs" on craigslist.com. They pay more than $10/hour and I get to sleep in usually. The downside is that the jobs aren't regular, and I haven't made enough money to pay my rent. Good thing my mother still sends money! Passing out flyers while wearing a bathrobe on Michigan Ave was a pretty fun experience, though. I hope someday I can tell this story to someone and sound like a cool person.

On a side note, I always have great ideas for shit to write about, then when I get on here all I do is write about my stupid job. I'm going to try better. I mean, I'm a single, gay, hearing-impaired, cash-strapped, recreational-drug-using senior in college. Shouldn't my life be more interesting? Really, I'm gonna try.

Ha!

2007-06-16T13:24:00.001-07:00

So, I totally got fired from my job. I guess passing out at your desk (which was located in a conference room, not even in a cubicle) is never a good idea. Even if you put a pen in your hand so it looks like you are writing something. Oh, and reeking of alcohol probably had something to do with it too. Whatever, temp jobs suck anyway. They can stuff their own damn envelopes. On another note, I'm on my way to being broke. Yay! At least I still have an unpaying internship. That will prevent eviction! Wait, no it fucking won't. Ah, fuck it. And, this picture is of the door of opportunity closing in my face.

Fabulous!

2007-06-12T23:37:00.000-07:00

So, I'm gay. The title of this blog may have given that away, or maybe you thought it was some sort of inside joke, or an allusion to something literary, but it's not. I wanted to put gay in title. And I was eating toast at the time. So that's the story of my blog title. But what I wanted to get into today was how complicated being gay can make things. The other day, my boss (famale, just turned 30, very pretty and fun, not married and works out at the same gym as me) asked me if I had a girlfriend. I don't, so I said no. Then she asked, "Do you want one?" This was my third week at the job, and I totally froze up. How does one answer this in a socially acceptable way that doesn't make the other party feel like an insensitive ass? So I said, "Maybe, who'd you have in mind?" Luckily my boss was only making a half-assed effort to hook me up with her previous assistant and the conversation/topic/issue never got any further than a promise from my boss to give said female my e-mail. (haha, rhymes) So I never had to say anything that explicitly said I was gay. But, why didn't I want to? Maybe it's because I work in the office at a factory where the twenty-odd 40-something men who work there are probably homophobic. Maybe. But I kind of liked the fact that I was not ooozing homosexuality so blatantly that my boss thought I would make a good match for someone she knew. I like people thinking I'm straight! They actually think I'm straight at my other internship as well. We are working promotions at the Gay Pride Parade and my supervisor is falling over himself to make sure I'm not offended that I have to participate in such an event. But why can't I just say, "No! I'm so excited to be part of the Gay Pride Parade! I'm totally gay myself!" It's cuz I don't have any gay pride. Or, I do, but only when I'm part of an anonymous crowd at a parade, or in a notoriously gay neighborhood, or very drunk at a skanky gay bar. I feel like this should bother me? But at least if they asked me outright I would certainly say "Yes, I'm gay." But until then I am thankful for this passport to the straight world where I can be someones sister's blind date and innocently enjoy jokes about a pirate theme for our parade float from "their" side of reality.

... the fairest of them all?

2007-05-13T08:32:00.000-07:00

Living in Chicago, the third-biggest city in the United States, is quite an experience. (Yeah, we lost "second-city" status to LA, but only in statistics, not in spirit!) As a college student, I rely on public transportation and my own two feet for most of my daily trips. This is a great way to save money and get exercise. However, it's made me extremely self-conscious about my appearance. Not self-conscious in a shy, don't-look-at-me-way, but self-conscious in a "alright, I probably rate an 8 today, I should work on that for next week!" way. The biggest problem is the mirrored windows that line almost every street in the Loop. When I am running errands for my boss, I can't help but stare at my reflection as I pass by, taking notice how unflattering these jeans really are, how lame my walk looks, how immature my unironed shirt comes off, and how my haircut belongs in the suburbs. It's prompted me to spend way too much money on jeans ($110, ben sherman, availabe at Macy's) and pay someone $50 to cut my hair (salon blonde, on north ave. in wicker park) which is a lot compared to my regular $13 cut at supercuts/hair cuttery/great clips, but less than what my roommate pays for his cut. I've also spent time trying to walk differently. This is the weirdest side effect of living in the city. Its also a little uncomfortable, but after doing it for several long walks on my way to job interviews or to the post office, I can't tell the difference anymore between my regular walk and my "sexy, mature, city-resident" walk. When I switch back and forth I get confused and eventually give up. Can you really train yourself to walk differently all the time? Or does it always have to be a conscious effort? I don't know. But I do know my ass looks better in the mirrored windows when I'm doing my "sexy, mature, city-resident" walk so it pays off, even if I'm the only one who notices. Well, me and the people working on the other side of the window. Maybe one of them will ask for my number soon! haha well not until I start ironing my shirts that is.

Witty title, snarky content

2007-05-03T22:41:00.000-07:00

Blogs have become my newest addiction. I can't sit down in front of a computer with an internet connection without checking four or five different blogs to see if there is a new post, even though I just checked before I left the house to go to work/school. And once I get through the cycle of those blogs, of course I check again since in the six minutes that have elapsed, Perez may have found a new pic of Britney or gawker.com has skewered another book review. It didn't used to be like this; my addiction to myspace and facebook seem to pale in comparison of my dependecy on blogs. Let me tell you how it all began.

I started a new job that had me sitting in front of a computer for six hours a day. This was new to me, since I worked at restaurants and retail stores before this. I was a good worker in the beginning. I would diligently input all the data that was stacked in front of me, never straying to the internet fuction of the computer. But one day the pretty blonde who started working with me was staring a pink screen. I was confused; why wasn't she inputting her data?? I glanced over and saw the now-all-too-familiar perezhilton.com logo sprawled across the screen. I asked her what it was, she responded with a fact about the then-emerging relationship of Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn. Intrigued, I signed on. Five pages of celebrity pictures and gossip later, I was a fan.

I could check perez once and day, and that was enough. But then I realized he updated it throughout the day. So i would check twice, then three time, then as often as possible to end the monotony of data entry. It was officially a problem. My checking became so frequent, perez couldn't add pictues fast enough. I needed a new fix. Through some at-work googling, (or is it googleing? google-ing?) I found tmz.com. Then gawker.com. Then gofugyourself.com. Then thesartorialist.com. Then all the blogrolls of these blogs sent me into a blog-reading frenzy that has resulting in the favorites that I now frequent a minimum of five times daily.

And here I am now, starting a blog. And why? Because I ran out of postings to read. So I thought I would blog about it. Is that irony? No, it's the next stage of my addiction. Just watch me start posting five times a day. Actually, you probably won't have to worry about that since I don't possess the wit or snark or grammar to do this that often. But, you never know what horrible depths a depedency will throw you to.